I walked outside to find my husband doing yard work (we’re so domestic) and I spotted our new neighbor across the street. Well, he looked like a friendly fella as he mosied over to introduce himself. The only thing about him was…he had a funny look on his face when he spotted me. Hmmm…'what could be the problem,' my insecurity pondered. Certainly it’s not my pizza-with-no-make-up face or the fact that I desperately needed a shower. Whew! But after we shared pleasantries, I realized upon further inspection one more thing about my person. My zipper was down. "Nice to meet you, John! Aren't you so glad we shook hands?" For shame! Nice.
Anyways, John turns out to be a wonderfully nice guy and he has a son Braden's age—hooray! It did, however, get a bit awkward again (why do I do this to poor John?) after he rattled off what his wife, and several other wives of the neighborhood did for a living, following with, "What do you do?" To which I bust out with "I whittle things out of wood." And jazz hands... Actually, I told him I stay at home with my kids and he got a bit stuttery, "Oh yeah, yeah, that's great. That's important…My wife used to stay home…a couple of years ago…" Sorry, John, but you got stuck with plain ol' Zitty-McZit-Face-No-Shower-Taking-Stay-at-Home Mom! I felt for him because he looked like he was a teeny uncomfortable...or he might have looked that way because my zipper had been down not 2 minutes previous and he got quite a gander… I guess we'll never know. :) But I do like my neighbor John. He's a good guy.
So, my next goal is to have my pants zipped up when I meet someone new. Wish me luck...
19 comments:
That just made me giggle. Thank you so much for being so real. You just whittle him a tall glass of shut the hell up if he can't handle the barn door being opened.
He was astounded by your beauty and it took his breath away. He was trying to play it off.
Can I just tell you how happy it makes me to be giggling and snorting over your blog once again? All is right with the world!
You crack me up lady! Zippers are overrated.
You are so witty! I love reading your blog. Better luck next time with neighbor John. =)
Just think, next time you see him, you can discuss the whole zipper thing and you'll be best of friend before you know it!!
just look at it this way. It won't take much to impress him now...there's nowhere to go but up!
You would have made a great subject for that ABC PRIMETIME show where they ask... "what would you do?" I would have said, ok, in a quiet voice... XYZ! You are too funny.
John should just be grateful that you shared that much of yourself with him. And I think you should teach him to whittle.
i am still making up my own text for you as my computer still doesn't like yours for some crazy reason, but i know that any post with mr rogers on it is OFF THE HOOK.
Oh, that's funny. Sorry about the zipper. Seriously, he didn't even notice ;)I'm sure.
I have missed you, seriously you make my laugh. Thanks for perking up my day.
Wittling and jazz hands! I'm seriously cracking up at that! Have a "Zippity" do da day Kristi!
One thing's for sure, Kristi dear, you got STYLE :) Ahem, I won't admit how many times I've been caught with my zipper down. What? We're lucky I managed PANTS today, for heaven's sake! What's a busy stay-at-home mom to do? We can't remember everything!
heeelarious, as usual. i would expect nothing less on a kristi wright encounter!
That is awesome!!! I think instead of zipping up your zipper when you turned around, you should have un-buttoned your shirt a little...tell him, " Yeah, I work out of my home...wink, wink....:)" hee,hee!
BTW you are beautiful...even without a shower....
why did you close the door? you shoulda left it wide open for the doofus. :) thanks for the awesome story and for a good laugh kristi. your blog never disappoints. . .
Why are you so freakin' hilarious! Love this story. I'm glad to know you're getting to know your neighbors so well.
You just made my day...I can only imagine what he went home and told his wife about the new neighbors...hee hee! Love ya girl:)
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