What have you been up to?

Who me? Well, I have been absent for a reason. Let me explain. See, I have been thoroughly contemplating life as a 80 year old pregnant woman. It's true. This is not the first time I have considered myself an old lady trapped in a young woman's body (i.e. Postum & Cankles). So it should come as no surprise that I would take it to the next level of old lady-dom.

I developed a cough a couple weeks ago and found out recently it is Bronchitis--good times! I was also seriously special enough to pull some muscles on my left side...from coughing. I wish I could tell you I did this from lifting some seriously heavy weights or running 10 miles uphill or something equally strenuous, but no...it was from coughing. Nicely done!

So last week, as I was clenching my side and coughing my brains out, I began thinking like a 80 year old woman in her 9 month of pregnancy!! Would you like to hear what I came up with?

Good. It's time to overshare.

1. When you're 80, there can be no laughing. And no crying either, for that matter (both induce a serious coughing fits that are just not worth it. Plus, it can induce urination).
2. I have developed a handsome and definitive hunchback from having to lean forward and noticeably to the left when walking. Which fortunately, there is not much walking going on, so it is sort of a slow hunch development. (although I will say I have always been a procrastinator, so I am quite proud of the head start on my hunchback)

3. Cankles (oh wait, I already had those)
4. All of my conversations have been reduced to complaints of my illnesses, my pain, or my meds. Thankfully, I am not quite to the point of discussing my bowel movements at every chance. Although, don't count that out yet.

5. I need assistance sitting/standing up.

6. I have an indescribable desire to purchase my own walker with those little cut-out tennis balls on the front legs. It would be so sweet.
The good news is: I am down to two weeks with this old baby of mine!! Hooray!

I have more to post about soon like my Amazing baby shower and how grateful I am for friends and family who have helped me so much lately...I am very blessed.

More to come soon. But give me some time--don't rush a 80 year old woman!