It's an enticing title, don't you think?
Today, (thanks to Natalie & Meghan for the sweet hook-up!!) I headed to Old Navy and met up with my sister Shelly for some clearance sales (additional 50% off baby!). As I hurriedly browsed the clearance racks, my son looked at me oh so sweetly, and said, "I have to pee." And I sweetly replied "Too bad, honey, Mommy's shopping." Not really. I said, "Ok, but you better make it quick." I really did say that.
So, I'm practically dragging him to the restroom and when we get there I hear two ladies gabbing inside the Ladies' Room.
"…it is everywhere. I just got it everywhere…"
And this is when I start envisioning poop smeared all over the walls (I have a sick mind).
Five…minutes…pass. I consider taking Braden into the Men's Room…then I hear Nolan's voice muttering things in my head, " Have you ever been in a Men's bathroom? They're disgusting. Pee everywhere…"
No thanks. I'll wait. Then I hear this:
"…I heard that pee is actually quite sterile…"
Hmmm. Are they drinking their pee? Is that what is taking them so long? Is this why all the wonderful bargains are being snatched away from right under my nose because these ladies feel the need to sterilize something with their urine?
Another…five…minutes…pass…and I'm still waiting. And I'm starting to get nervous because we all know what Braden is capable of if pushed to his limits.
Finally, the ladies open the door and check out of the bathroom (and I am saying a thank you prayer for that) and Braden can thankfully take a leak. But apparently this bathroom break was not meant to be a quick one—ever. My son proceeded to urinate for approximately 4 minutes. I wish I was exaggerating on these time frames, people, but I'm not. Also, I learned something new about my son today. He has THE ability to stop peeing midstream and wait for several seconds and enjoy the view before proceeding with his business. More than once. At the time, I was a little annoyed—hurry up, dude! In hindsight, I now realize this took him an incredible amount of discipline and strength. I mean, I'm an adult and I couldn't do that. Ever. So, now I'm feeling more pride than annoyance.
Thankfully, that was the end of our bathroom shenanigans and we were off to shop the deals.
14 comments:
Speaking of peeing....i was laughing so hard reading your post that I almost peed my pants. Hehe.
I think boys can do that -- start and stop their pee at will. I really do. I've seen it many times (you know, when I was in the men's restroom hiding under the urinal etc.) -- amazing, really. I can't do that! Yay for Braden!
You are hilarious girl! I am glad he used those amazing abilities to "hold it" til those ladies left the restroom... what were they doing in there any way?!?
yowza, chicky, i would have beat the door down! but hooray for braden and his amazing pee.
chris almost always has to poop every time he steps foot into old navy. is that tmi? it's his poopin' spot, almost without fail.
Wow, I wonder what those freaky woman were doing. Maybe one of them was stung by a jellyfish(doesn't pee help that or has Friends conned me?) Braden has some control. 4 minutes worth of pee is a lot to try and hold in.
(heehee Natalie;)
What the heck were they up to anyway?? Weird.
What were they doing? Weird. I love Braden, quite the talented little boy.
jori...that is TRUE. See how useful all those hours spent watching "Friends" were? :)
Braden...dude! He has super human capabilities. The boys in this house (well...really only Jeff...he's got such a geriatric bladder)could never hold it that long.
Kristi girl...we are soulmates. I've loved postum my whole life:) I'm got a jar in my cupboard right now. I loved pretending it was "coffee" as a little girl while playing school. (REBEL:) Now I just like it...just because. And I'm 32. Not 95. Deal people. Deal.:)
Gasp! Owen totally does that Austin Powers eterni-pee too! How can such little people hold so much fluid??
Thanks for the laugh, my friend! :)
Oh man. I would have been muttering unkind thing under by breath but loud enough for those women to hear. And then I would have let my son pee on their shoes. Not really. Did you find some god stuff?
what the heck were they doing? and i bet holly really would've let her son pee on their feet! :)
I was in Old Navy today, too, and I just kept thinking to myself how much EASIER THIS WOULD BE WITHOUT THE LITTLE PEOPLE WITH ME, y'know, needing to use the bathroom and such, slowing me down, making it difficult to work here!
10 minutes?! what was up with those ladies? If I have to use public restrooms I am out as fast as I went in!
Poor Braden! Hope you were able to walk out of there with some good finds!
Well... I guess you could teach him to pee to the tune of Old McDonald and stop and go in sync.
Elijah has that perfected and you could hear him singing one day in COSTCO and again, peeing to the stop and go tunes of Old McDonald. I wish I could say this happened when he was only four, but it happened last month.
Fun times.
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