In the summer, we spend countless hours in the sun, sitting lazily at the pool. It would be safe to assume that I would realize the damage the sun was doing to me...but you would be mistaken. I'm special needs (I think I've mentioned it before) and today, as I was scanning my shoulders scrupulously like any normal person would :), I noticed I have age spots all over them. Everywhere. And not your friendly freckle or mole (which I would willingly embrace), but age spots.
And...not to be dramatic or anything...but it's as if they are consuming my flesh.
This means I'm aging.
I'm age-ed.
And...not to be dramatic or anything...but it's as if they are consuming my flesh.
This means I'm aging.
I'm age-ed.
So, now that I'm accepting the fact that my skin is wasting away faster than the speed of light into a nice, fine leather you might have on your sofa, I've decided the solution lies in the purchase of a few specific items,
such as:
(I literally googled these under "old people sunglasses" and wouldn't you know it, just what the doctor ordered...that gave a me a good laugh.)
And these will help:
(I noticed there are websites with "hip" or"trendy" orthopedic shoes...surely they realize that's against the laws of physics?)
As will this:
(A gallon should cover it)
So, I won't end up like this:
Bless her heart... 
15 comments:
Oh my goodness you are just like me, posting in the middle of the night. My dog is freaking out so I am up with him, I 'm still wondering if we're not out of the woods. Anyway I know what you mean about the sun, when I was younger I tanned like crazy, laid out in the sun for hours with baby oil on me, my mom would say "you're going to be a leather hand bag when you grow up." I would think "that's old lady jori's problem, I want to be tan now." well now I am wishing I would have stayed out of the sun, I have those same spots on my shoulders, and skin in spots just looks wrinkly, curse teenage jori for this! Funny post,sorry for the long harang.
Oh and I like your new color, and the fact that you wrote "bless her heart" under the old ladies picture. :)
that post was hilarious kristi. i'm still in denial of the dangers of tanning... i went tanning on friday & spent three hours at the pool on saturday. and i also loved "bless her heart" a lady i worked with this year always said that when you could tell she wanted to gossip about someone. but she wouldn't. wow. thats what will kill me... not gossiping!
So funny. I got a bit of a sunburn the other day at the pool and I couldn't believe what an idiot I am. I had spf 50 on!!! Must not have reapplied enough. I have been scared straight on the whole tanning thing, but I wasn't always careful. Oh well. We are all aging, that is for sure. I have tons of gray hair!
but you've got a rockin' tan. i can't believe hayley didn't chastise you and accuse you of having cancer. that's because she's a sun worshiper like you, otherwise, she'd be sending you to a dermatologist to get a grope like holly did. i too love your new color (your blog, not your tan). looks really cute. as always, i'll volunteer my services as a banner maker, but i think that you're talented in that area, so you're probably good to go...
i was laughing so hard when I read thing. Hehe! My husband thinks I'm crazy now. Ha!
Old age sucks! I mean getting old stinks. I guess I shouldn't say old age sucks because there are lots of really great grandmas that I love and I don't think that they suck. But I mean, what's the deal with your body going south on you? No fun.
Funny Post. Not so funny, age spots at least they are on your shoulders. I've got one on my cheek bone. It's awfully hard to hide. I've thought about buying skin bleach, but I always chicken out.
cute banner! nice work.
natalie - you kiss my heiny! but yes, i didn't blast her on cancer cause i'm the devil. any other area & i'll push the cancer/doctor check it out button... not with skin. i'm gonna get it. i know! (specially cause i have an uncle who literally died of skin cancer...) you'd think i'd not take the issue lightly. but we're officially in a fight, natalie!
in the words of holly, calm yourself, hayley. it's called a jokey joke. and who do you think will be by your side as you have a mole removed? your loyal bestie, of course. fight over.
If I ever want to feel old I just look at my hands. I am only 28, jeeze why do the deep creases have to already be appearing.
ok... kristi, i went to my closing & when walking in, i noticed an elderly couple - both of whom were sporting those exact sunglasses. i couldn't help but laugh. it was great!!!
I loved your post today-you crack me up. Very funny. Yes, I have noticed spots on me too. I would love that big thing of sunscreen, I don't know if it would fit into my pool bag though.
That is hilarious Hayley! I love it.
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